James' Birth Story

Just yesterday I gave my twenty eight year old son a massage. He receives them well, massage has been a part of his life from the beginning. Massage was a big part of my pregnancy with him, as well as labor, postpartum and infancy. James loves both massage and water therapy to this day, both are evident in this story.

When I was just a couple weeks pregnant, still mildly nauseated and very tired, I was enlisted to teach a pregnancy massage class at the local recreation center in South Lake Tahoe, CA. We did a little massage, some reflexology, gentle prenatal yoga and deep relaxation. I think I made the relaxation part a little longer just because I was so tired. There was no controversy in 1981 about receiving a massage in the first trimester. What did we know about prenatal massage, at that time. All I knew was that massage felt wonderful, relaxing, rejuvenating and nourishing to my changing body.

Massages became a routine experience for me while I was teaching a series of massage classes at my friend Judy's house. Each Sunday afternoon Judy would give me a massage after class had finished. It was lovely. I received more than eighteen massages throughout my pregnancy with James. The massage strokes were as simple as deep long effleurages down my back, but their effects were long lasting. Hip and arm stretches helped the tightness I felt from the extra fluid I held in my body. The most comfortable way to receive my pregnancy massage was in the side lying position with lots of pillow support. Those massages seemed to be the best in the world. Many of the stretches and strokes I learned through receiving I now include in the Nurturing the Mother® course. When labor began it was my dear friend Judy that I called, she was as close to having a doula, a woman to support you through this scary and powerful life transition.

Years later I am not sure if she came because I called or if she knew instinctually to come. Either way, her loving hands and massage helped me begin the journey of birth. The labor began easily and did not cause much discomfort. Judy arrived when my contractions were still irregular and painless. After forty-five minutes of Judy's relaxing massage, the contractions began to transform into a more consistent and regular rhythm (five minutes apart). It was time to down the mountain into Carson City, Nevada where James was born.

Judy called Ronnie home from the golf course where he was hitting balls. In minutes we were off, with blessings and tears from Judy, we headed to our doctor.s office for a quick check before heading over to the hospital. I did not receive any massage throughout the rest of the labor and birth. The physician who was supposed to perform the delivery by was out of town on vacation, one of his colleagues stepped in for him. As you can imagine, this only added another concern to this whole process.

James' labor was easy, only two and a half hours once we were in the hospital and only twenty minutes of pushing before he was out. I credit the massages I received throughout the pregnancy and early labor, along with practicing yoga, for such an easy birth experience. I was given an episiotomy during the birth, a procedure which I was not given a choice about. The doctor deemed an episiotomy as necessary, although James turned out to be my smallest child and my two girls came out without any unnatural tearing. I believe the procedure was unnecessary, and the healing process was prolonged due to the recovery needed to heal this sensitive area.

Immediately after James was born he was placed on my belly and within minutes his cord was cut. After cleaning him up they handed him to Ronnie who gently immersed James into a warm water bath, which was inspired by the Leboyer bath. This is where James did his unfolding, where he completely relaxed. He released his clenched hands and let go into the water. Water is very soothing for James to this day.

This was my only hospital birth experience. What troubled me the most was their insistence that James be taken to the nursery to sleep. After the most amazing experience of my life, this left me feeling incredibly alone that night. James hospital birth experience is what made me choose to give birth to my two daughters at home. Having James taken away that first night is what fuels my passion for mothers and babies to stay together in the immediate postpartum period. The hormonal juices in the afterbirth are the perfect design for optimal bonding. When they are disrupted in the hours following birth the mother may experience postpartum depression as a result. I know I did. My daughters, who were born at home, never left my side and I experienced no depression after their births. I had mild postpartum depression starting after three days and lasting through six weeks after James' birth. The peak of my depression was at three weeks. Postpartum massage for both mother and baby may help in this healing process.

At three days postpartum I received my first massage from a friend and fellow massage therapist. While I thought pregnancy massage was amazing, postpartum was even better. My milk had come in and my hormones were changing. Crying became such a good release. I realized now how important massage is for the transition from pregnancy back into your pre-pregnancy mind and body.

I had only two postpartum massages in the six weeks following James' birth. At the time I was unaware of the effects massage could have on healing us both. After having had more massage following the birth of my daughters I truly saw the value in receiving this form of therapy. James had some colic as a baby, and I suffered from exhaustion, but with the frequent massages both my exhaustion and my children's colic were greatly reduced.

As an infant massage and bath time that kept James the happiest. Our routine was nurse, massage, bath, nurse and sleep. It seemed that he developed an affinity towards the very things he is comforted by today early on in his infancy. James has received massage from before birth to this very day.

James is currently a lawyer, but his passion is writing. He is a very kind and loving son. I am blessed to be his mother.